Peng's War Room Excerpt #2

...the room remained silent. The first to speak would surely bear the brunt of Peng’s impending wrath. His rage could flare up a herpes zoster blister on one’s lip faster than he would discard his honor for self-advancement over his own mother.

Peng slid back in his chair and pulled slowly from his pipe. “General, no updates from you or your team on Silk Steel?” he questioned.

The General squirmed in his chair.  

“Moo-cow, please remind the General of his promise from our last meeting.”

“General Schwarzkon, per our previous agreement, you were to bring us Barnabas’ palimpsest and –"

The General cut Moo-Cow off, “Professor, do you doubt my skills as both an arbiter and a strategist?”

“I am currently questioning both supposed qualities of yours. Concurrently, you are wasting valuable time that I do not have.”

“Professor, a strategic plan requires time, there is no way around it –” the General attempted to defend his position.

“Excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses…

He droned on.

« …excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses. SILENCE !”

Peng was the only one speaking.

“Suleman, my dear friend. You once were a fine strategist, especially when you thwarted the spiders’ advances at developing vibrational analysis, and you were a fine arbiter when you negotiated for the release of the Praying Mantis’ contingent in the siege of Normantis. But you have regressed. You are no longer the mighty rook you once were. You have become but a pawn.  You had your two-square opening move. You would be lucky to even dream of promotion on the open battlefield when staring down diagonals from threatening bishops and L-shaped attacks from fearless knights.”

The General’s rookish appearance collapsed. He slinked sheepishly into his chair. Thinking of himself now as this proverbial pawn, his ivory-self stared at the black doppelganger mirroring him. It was two pawns in stalemate. Peng was right – long sweeps, threatening advances - they were no longer part of his arsenal. If he were lucky, maybe a single gambit was left in him.

“Professor, please give me one more chance. I will make you proud. Err… you will not regret it.”

“Regret is all I have concerning you Suleman,” Peng twiddled his tarsus.” 

“But I think –”

“That is your problem Suleman, you think, and you think, and you think, but you never act. You are a strategist only in theory.”

“Professor, I was always your most loyal subject. I served you when you were just a young statesman. I never –”

“You never deserved to serve me. You are a mere infantry man! You were never a General.”

The General’s head slid slightly on his neck. Coagulated blood kept it from sliding off momentarily. Gravity then did its work and the head lopped off, and rolled across the table. In a whirlwind, the heads of Suleman’s lieutenant, ambassador, secretaries, and deputies also rolled. Like coconuts they came to a thudding stop at the center of the table.  The only one left unscathed in the war room was Peng’s obedient assistant Moo-Cow.

“Moo-cow, why are your fingers not moving. Please do record these events for Posterity.”

Moo-cow hacked away feverishly at her computer, the speed of her digits matching the speed of her hemolymph flowing through her veins.

“Moo-cow, my most trusted friend, do not be afraid. You are my right-hand puss.”

Moo-cow’s thighs froze to her seat and her arms stiffened.

Peng leaned back in his chair and became horizontal with the war room table. His tarsus flailed and flickered as his mind wandered.

Do they all underestimate my powers? Am I a joke to them? To him? Barnabas, do you test me? Surely you do not wish to do battle with me? I will show you…”

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